What's The Connection Between Menopause And Anger Toward Husbands?
During menopause, a person may experience changes to their body, including physical and emotional changes. Many symptoms of menopause range from mild to severe. For some couples, menopause and feelings of anger may occur together. Being the target of anger can be difficult, especially if you're trying to support your wife through a stressful time in her life.
Not everyone who goes through menopause becomes angry. However, there may be a connection between menopause and anger toward husbands. The factors involved may not always be treatable, but there are steps you can take to make this time easier for both of you. Learning about menopause and its treatments may be one method.
The connection between menopause and anger
Besides physical menopausal symptoms, there may be emotional ones, like anger. Anger could be elevated during menopause because of the hormonal changes happening in the body. It may occur suddenly and without warning.
A change in emotional states can feel difficult for the person experiencing the symptoms and those around them.
Making lifestyle changes, developing healthy habits, and having patience can, in some cases, make a huge difference on the effects of anger during menopause, in addition to potentially strengthening the relationship between spouses.
Why is my wife so angry at me?
If you've been a supportive spouse throughout your marriage, you may be puzzled when your wife goes through menopause. Suddenly, she may not accept your kindness, begin to argue with you, or have consistent angry outbursts. Maybe you feel she's unfair to you or causing you unnecessary suffering.
There may be reasons for your wife to feel angry, and some may have to do with the physical problems and emotional changes happening to her body due to other menopause symptoms. The following are a few of the most common causes of angry feelings for menopausal individuals.
1. She may feel misunderstood or unheard
Menopause may be better understood than it was years ago. However, people may not know much about it unless they've experienced it. When someone feels no one understands what they're going through, it could make them irritable.
Although you can read about menopause to understand it more, your wife may feel angry if you assume everything she says or does is a result of this phase they're going through. It isn’t possible to perform a meta analysis of every reason your wife is exhibiting a certain behavior without understanding their perspective; trying to do so may anger her further.
Assumptions can invalidate your wife as a complex human. This can put a strain on communication, which has been seen as one of the leading causes of higher divorce rates. Even though she may be experiencing menopause symptoms, she may still experience outside stressors or other emotions.
2. She has unpredictable menstrual cycles
Menopause can take years to complete. Your wife may have irregular periods or hormonal surges. She may not know when to expect their period because it may not be regular anymore. It could be heavier or lighter than usual or last for more or less time.
She may go for six months without a period and then have another one out of nowhere. This unpredictability could make her feel she no longer has any control over her body, which might cause anger.
3. She's uncomfortable
Hot flashes, night sweats, and chills can make your partner uncomfortable throughout the day and night. These symptoms may be partially relieved with hormone therapy or natural remedies. However, many still have them, even if the treatment reduces their severity.
4. Her body is changing in unpredictable ways
Since menopause is the body's way of preparing for its menstruation cycles to end, it may go through various changes simultaneously. Night sweats and chills can be adverse effects of these changes.
Menopause can also change how at-risk a person is to certain conditions. For example, menopause can lower the risk of breast cancer and raise the risk of heart disease.
Another standard change is that a person’s weight may fluctuate wildly, which may include unpredictable gains or losses. These weight changes could be related to one's pre-menopausal eating habits which are also changing.
Someone going through menopause may feel like their body is running at 100 miles an hour while standing perfectly still. They might also feel ashamed or upset about the changes in their body.
5. During menopause, sex may be more difficult
Difficulties with sex can put a strain on a relationship. Your wife may experience a few changes related to sex. They may experience vaginal dryness, leading to painful or uncomfortable intercourse. They may also have vaginal infections more often, and their sex drive may decrease.
Additionally, uncomfortable physical symptoms may make sex feel like the last thing someone wants to partake in. Discussing symptoms with a medical professional could be beneficial in solving this issue, alongside personal lubricant and patience.
6. Bladder control may be a problem
During menopause, many individuals experience urinary incontinence. They might try to exercise, let out a sneeze or cough, or have a good laugh, and suddenly they're leaking urine.
At other times, they may have difficulty getting to the bathroom in time. They may have bladder infections more often, too. It may feel embarrassing or out of control for the person experiencing it.
7. They aren't sleeping well
Around the time menopause hits, people can start having trouble sleeping or experiencing insomnia. They may have problems falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up during the night. If they're having night sweats, that could also wake them up.
If the sweating is profuse, they may need to change the bed before they can go back to sleep. The lack of adequate sleep can make them feel exhausted and unhappy, and they may take those feelings out on those closest to them.
8. They’re dealing with changing moods
Menopause is often associated with moodiness. The exhaustion, the stress of a changing family, and experiencing the symptoms of menopause can all affect someone's mood.
The body is also going through a significant chemical change. Estrogen levels are diminishing, which is significant in terms of mood because estrogen controls the production of serotonin in the brain. If serotonin levels decrease, it can lead to depression, sleep problems, anxiety, and other issues. It's possible in some cases to seek treatment for these issues with therapy or medication (like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs.)
What can you do?
You may want to fix everything for your wife. However, there may not be a cure for every symptom she's experiencing. Although anger can occur, there are a few ways you can try to support her.
1. Show compassion
Though it may be hard with her rage directed at you, try to be compassionate with your wife. Imagine how you would feel if these things were happening to you. Using this information, you may be able to use empathy to connect with your partner.
Keep doing loving activities to show her you care. If you're committed to being compassionate, the rest of the tips on this list may feel simple to you.
2. Allow her the space to open up
Your wife may be carrying around uncomfortable emotions during menopause. If she feels you won't understand, she might not try to tell you. However, studies show that suppressing emotions can increase physical pain and other distressing symptoms.
Ask her how she's feeling, then listen carefully. Summarize what she said and ask if that's right. Tell her you're there for her in each situation she describes. When your partner comes to you, pay attention to what she says. Engage with her on a deep, personal level.
3. Reduce sexual discomfort
Your sexual relationship doesn't have to cause arguments or disagreements. Go with her to a doctor to learn how to make it easier for you both. When it comes to sex after menopause, accept that sex might not happen as often as before. Show your affection in other ways, like hugging, kissing, or even holding her hand during a movie.
If your partner wants to try sexual intercourse, consider using new toys or methods of improving physical comfort. You might buy a lubricant or special condom or experiment with new sexual activity that you haven't tried yet.
4. Exercise together
Exercise may help you and your wife stay healthy. It may also help your wife feel healthier, have more energy, and increase their feel-good emotions.
If you exercise with your partner, it may increase their positive feelings toward you. Try low-impact cardio together, take a Sunday hike, or bicycle together to the park. You can also invite their friends along or anyone they feel comfortable with. Avoid being too competitive or judgmental. Instead, think of it as a way to have fun and bond.
5. Encourage her to engage in creative activities or support groups
Getting involved in a creative activity may help someone channel anger into something more positive. Additionally, research shows that art therapy or art can benefit older women experiencing depression or mood changes. Encourage your wife to take up a creative hobby relating to whatever her interests are, like writing, painting, or gardening.
You may also encourage her to talk about their experiences with other women, men, or people of any gender. Let her use these outlets to get any angry feelings out. Then, show your admiration for her work on each project or progress in her support groups.
6. Take care of yourself and stay healthy
During this challenging time, staying healthy can help you cope with any anger that comes up for you. Eat nutritious foods, exercise, practice self-care, and get enough sleep.
If you need help physically or mentally, seek the support of a professional. When you're at your healthiest, you might be able to better support your partner.
7. Connect with a professional
Relationships with partners and families may become strained during menopause. As a result, many turn to couples therapy to work through the issues that arise. According to the North American Menopause Society, it is typical for couples to seek sex therapy when menopause occurs. The organization states that couples' sex therapy has a high success rate of improving the sexual aversion that commonly occurs during menopause, as well as orgasm difficulties.
Online counseling for support
You might try online counseling if your partner feels too uncomfortable to leave home or commit to a systematic review of your relationship in person. Online therapy can be a viable option for individuals and couples, regardless of the obstacles. One study examined the efficacy of online therapy for couples experiencing relationship issues. Couples found success, responding well to teletherapy, and "view(ed) their experiences very similarly to that of traditional therapy."
If you are struggling to cope with your partner's anger, and all your efforts seem wasted, it might be time to seek therapy. Talking to a couple's therapist can help you learn up-to-date research-based methods to deal with conflict. You can talk to a counselor online through a platform such as BetterHelp for individuals or Regain for couples.
Takeaway
The physical and emotional changes that occur during menopause can feel frustrating, especially if your partner has been experiencing anger. Knowing what to expect during this time and reaching out for help when needed can help you maintain a healthier relationship with your spouse and cope more effectively with any changes.
If you're looking for professional support, consider contacting a counselor to discuss your mental health needs.
How does menopause affect relationships?
Symptoms of menopause affect everyone differently, and some people may experience significant physical and emotional changes. These changes can be challenging to cope with, and the hormonal shifts that cause them can make them extreme and unpredictable. When one person in a relationship is experiencing these changes, it can affect the relationship itself.
How can husbands help with menopause?
Husbands can show compassion for their spouses who are going through menopause and understand the common menopause symptoms they’re going through may be physically, emotionally, and mentally challenging. It may help to ask your spouse to explain how they feel and listen carefully to their response. Sex after menopause can be different, so it can help to accept that it might not happen as often as it once did. Work on showing each other affection in other ways, or experiment with lubricants, toys, or new activities to see what works.
You can also try exercising together; try to keep it something fun instead of something competitive. Encourage her to engage in any creative activities she’s interested in or join a support group where she can talk to others who understand what she’s going through.
Taking care of yourself can also help you cope with the changing needs of your partner. Maintaining an exercise routine, eating a healthy diet, and getting enough sleep can help you cope with any anger that comes your way. If you need more help, talk to a professional. Ensuring that you’re both mentally and physically healthy may make menopause easier to manage for both you and your partner.
How do you deal with anger during menopause?
Most women in menopause may experience anger, irritability, and many other emotions as mood swings are common, particularly in the period leading up to menopause called perimenopause. There are a few options available for treatment. Some people may choose to make lifestyle changes before considering medication, but some of these medications may increase the risk of heart disease or breast cancer, so talk to your doctor. Some conditions, like perimenopausal rage, may warrant more investigation.
Getting more sleep, having a regular exercise routine, and practicing stress-control methods can help manage mood changes. If you need more support or guidance, talk to your doctor about medication options or reach out to a therapist to learn more about how to cope with these challenging emotions.
Does menopause cause you to be angry?
Menopause can cause a lot of physical, mental, and emotional changes, some of which may cause you to be angry. For example, some symptoms of menopause, like hot flashes, can prevent you from getting a decent night’s sleep. If you’re tired the next day, you may be more quick to anger. There are mental and emotional challenges to menopause, too. Hormone fluctuations can have many effects on the body, and the idea of moving into the next phase of life can be difficult for some people to adjust to. These challenges may also lead to periods of anger. If you’re having a difficult time coping with the changes that are occuring, talk to your doctor or a therapist about what help is available.
What causes a woman to lose interest in her husband?
During menopause and perimenopause, estrogen levels plummet, which has a huge effect on a woman’s sex drive. In addition to causing lower desire, this drop in hormones may also result in women being harder to arouse. They may experience vaginal dryness, which can make intercourse painful. Because of these things, some women may lose interest in sex, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they have lost interest in their husbands.
Does menopause affect happiness?
Perimenopause and menopause can affect happiness. This period of life brings with it a lot of changes. Some of them, like night sweats, irregular periods, heavy periods and bladder control issues, are physically taxing, which can influence someone’s happiness. Mood changes are common, so people in menopause may experience periods of sadness or just feeling down, even if they are generally happy. Menopause can also be emotional because it signals a huge shift in a woman's life. Although it is a natural part of life, some women may have a difficult time coping with the idea that they can no longer have children.
What should you expect when your partner is going through menopause?
It can be hard to know what to expect when your partner is going through menopause because it is a different experience for everyone. She may feel like she’s misunderstood because no one knows what she is going through, and it can be easy to attribute various emotions and arguments to being a symptom of menopause, even if she is experiencing them for valid reasons.
You can expect your partner to experience irregular menstrual cycles and hormone surges which can make her feel that she has no control over her body. Your partner may experience unpredictable changes in weight and bladder control may be affected. There may also be a lot of physical discomfort that comes along with menopause, like night sweats and chills.
The body goes through significant changes during menopause, including hormonal changes that can cause depression, anxiety, and mood issues. During menopause, your partner may lose interest in sex or sex may become uncomfortable. They may also have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep.
What impact does menopause have on men?
Menopause can impact men if their partner is having a difficult time dealing with menopause symptoms. People may have a difficult time managing the changes that occur in their bodies during menopause, and it is likely that their mood and physical and mental health will impact their partner.
How to treat male menopause naturally?
Male menopause is not quite the same as what women experience, but men do experience a drop in sex hormones as they age. In women, estrogen remains high for decades and then plunges suddenly over the course of a few years, which leads to symptoms of menopause. For men, the change is more gradual, so the problematic symptoms appear more gradually, too. Many men may not notice any changes for decades. Testosterone can begin to drop as early as age 30 and drop a little every year for the rest of the man’s life.
If you are experiencing these symptoms, talk to your doctor. They may recommend lifestyle changes, like eating a healthy diet, maintaining a regular exercise routine, getting enough sleep, and managing stress. If these natural remedies don’t improve your symptoms, your doctor may recommend testosterone replacement therapy.
What happens to a woman's mood during menopause?
Because of the hormone changes during menopause as well as some of the physical symptoms, including changes in sleep, women may experience mood changes during menopause. People who have a mental illness, like depression or anxiety, may experience an increase in their symptoms.
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